10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love
You long for true love. You
have dreamed about finding it
forever.
But every time you think you
have grasped it, it slips through
your fingers. Or it breaks them,
along with your heart.
You ask, as we all do,
“What am I doing wrong?”
Let me share 10 vital, love-changing
secrets that will lead you to
over the moon, incredible, never
ending romance. I know because I
have found it…and it’s my
second time around.
Warning: If you treat someone
like this, they will never leave
you, so be sure this person is
the one you want.
One more very crucial thing: the
key here is to merge the words
“true love” with “courage“.
TRUE love is not for the
fainthearted. It is to be approached
as if you were embarking on the
greatest adventure of your life.
1. True love thrives on the courage to be yourself
Imagine being at
peace with who you are.
Imagine enjoying what is strong
about you and focusing on growing
within that instead of working hard
to hide your weaknesses, afraid that
someone might leave you because of
them.
I used to hate looking at
myself in the mirror because I
had this loathing inside for who
I was. So much energy was spent
on trying to be who others
wanted me to be.
Exhausted from all the pain and
fear resulting from that perspective,
I decided to simply become
myself.
I began to live in gratitude
turned upward for how I had
been uniquely made. Consequently, I
found confidence growing from the very
center of my being.
It’s from that center that
I now love.
2. True love thrives on the courage to respect yourself by finding your voice
When you like
yourself, you become your own
champion.
Imagine standing up to protect
your heart being natural to
you.
Imagine discomfort triggering you to
step up and say what it is
you are feeling or fearing.
When you become yourself, this
is how you will learn to
be.
You will recognize someone who
has the potential to love you
as you need to be loved. On
the flipside, you will also recognize
when someone is not able to be
that one.
From that same confident, strong
center I found, you, too, will
become the lover rather than the
one demanding to be loved.
3. True Love thrives on the courage to make it all about the one you love
The most successful
relationships I know are those where
both partners as strong enough
individually to put themselves aside
and see life through the eyes
of that special someone in their
life.
Imagine being able to hold wise
boundaries and have your fears about
being “walked on” left far behind
you.
Imagine choosing to make it your
aim to create an atmosphere of
safety where both of you can
rest, grow and thrive.
Great fulfillment comes in seeing
your sweetheart relax and respond to
you with a contented smile.
True love is about your partner
being able to grow and equip
themselves to handle whatever life
brings because they know that someone
(i.e. you) has their back.
4. True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for certainty.
Imagine a place
where you can be completely
yourself.
Imagine never being judged or
criticized.
Imagine having the freedom to
choose what is best for you in
the moment and that being received
with acceptance.
Imagine feeling protected and cared
for and having there for you
whatever it is you need to feel
secure.
This is describing the need for
“safety”. Certainty. Your partner desires
that deeply.
Do you know then well enough
to build a safe space designed
around their particular preferences?
5. True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for adventure
Imagine “adventure”.
Thrills, fun, edge of your seat
suspense, surprise just when you need
it.
Imagine the unexpected challenges
arising in your life and being
able to think through and plan
a strategy alongside someone you trust
and respect.
Look through the eyes of the
one you love for a moment. Do
you know what makes them laugh
or what kind of surprises they
love?
Do you understand what they
anticipate or look forward to
doing?
What would draw out their deep
gratitude?
How do they wish you would
respond when life gets tough and
you are both caught off-guard?
6. True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for significance
Imagine having
all of the cherishing your heart
could hold.
Imagine the tranquility of never
having to worry about losing the
love surrounding you.
Imagine being completely accepted.
Imagine having someone look at
you in a way that tells you
they believe in you.
Imagine making a mistake and
being told that it’s ok, that
you are learning and that you
should be patient with yourself.
Your heart yearns for this. So
does the heart of the one you
love, though they may never voice
that.
Do you know what makes them
afraid that they are not
enough?
Do you understand how lonely
they feel inside and what might
make their heart open like a
flower to the sun?
7. True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need to be loved unconditionally
Imagine someone
totally committed to doing everything
within their power to love you
in the way you define love.
Imagine someone seeing you are
cold and bringing you a sweater
even before you ask.
Imagine someone sensing how tired
you are and sending you for a
rest while they take care of
what you normally take care
of.
Imagine the words, “I forgive
you. I understand. Nothing will ever
change my love for you. It
grows stronger every day.”
Imagine someone putting aside their
own excitement of the day in
order to bring you comfort when
they see you may be
struggling.
True love is stepping up and
loving someone else in such a
way that it becomes more and
more “unconditional”.
Their comfort, their care, their
needs put more and more ahead
of your own.
8. True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for connection
How much we
all long to be connected. Thus
we have communities, sports teams,
clubs and groups of every kind.
It’s healthy to be a part
of what interests us outside of
our relationships but how often do
we begin to prefer to spend
time there because the bond between
us and our loved one is
broken.
Imagine having that sense of
“belonging” fulfilled in every way
possible within your relationship so
that when friends or extended family
disappoint you, you weather it
together.
Imagine being able to talk about
anything and everything revealing all
of your thoughts and dreams and
ideas freely.
Imagine being heard – really heard –
and your opinions being appreciated
and acknowledged.
Imagine being held just when you
need it the most in the way
you need it.
That man or woman in your
life aches for this as much as
you do. Open your heart and
search for as many ways to
connect with them as possible. Learn
to listen and to enjoy some of
the activities that they enjoy.
9. True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for growth
If you are
not growing, you die – even while
you are still living. We experience
this consistently in nature all around
us. Trees and grass and children
exemplify this truth.
Imagine someone knowing your dreams,
your aspirations, your future plans
and goals.
Imagine that the greatest pleasure
in someone’s life is celebrating
your milestones right alongside of you
because they are proud of you
and were there for you every
step of the long climb it took
to get there.
Put yourself in the shoes of
the one you have committed your
life to.
What are her dreams? What are
his?
Have you had a long look
recently into their eyes in order
to reach the bottom of their
heart? Or do you take for
granted that you know all there
is to know?
What do they want, really want,
from life?
What is within your power to
help them get there?
10. True love is the courage to meet your lover’s need to make a difference
When life is
cruel to you and breaks your
heart, you tend to withdraw from
the world in order to protect
yourself from more pain. Often it
is said that out of your
greatest pain comes your greatest
mission.
You are not random. You were
made with care and innate skills
to let life prepare you to help
someone else.
Imagine what it would feel like
to give in a way that made
a difference to someone.
Imagine an overwhelming sense of
fulfillment because you have given
yourself permission to do what you
love and help someone else in
the process. I am using my love
to write to help others learn
how to love right now.
Imagine having a partner who
knows you so well that he or
she opens your eyes to a new
understanding of the gifts you’ve
been given.
Part of your purpose in life
is to assist your partner in
finding his or her own way of
unconditionally giving love to the
world around them. You are the
one who can observe their strengths
in ways that no one else
can.
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