Tips on Dating a Plus Size Women

All women want to feel feminine and attractive, and Plus Size Women are no different. However, dating a plus-sized girl can mean encountering some sensitive subjects and situations that may make her feel uncomfortable. Enjoy problem-free dates with the special plus-sized girl in your life by being prepared.

ACTIVITIES

Consider her comfort when planning dates. Don't make reservations at a restaurant where you know the chairs are small or take her to an amusement park where she'll have to squeeze into a rollercoaster seat. If she is self-conscious, she won't have fun. Try to take her to places where there will be people of all shapes and sizes; for example, go to the mall or an outdoor festival. Don't plan anything active, such as hiking, unless she suggests it; she may be embarrassed by being out of shape or unable to keep up

CONVERSATION

Never mention her weight or size, even if it's to compliment her on it. Focus on who she is—her personality, interests, hobbies and dreams. Don't ask if she belongs to a gym or plans to join one. If you're together at a restaurant, never refer to her eating habits. Comments like, "Should you really be eating that?"—even if well meaning—will likely bring a sour end to your date. Keep the conversation light and positive and remember to tell her she looks lovely.

FRIENDS & FAMILY

Introduce your special Plus Size Women to your friends and family as soon as you both feel comfortable. Some girls may begin to feel that you're "hiding" them if you don't introduce them after a reasonable period. During activities with friends and family, keep the conversation general and involve your girl as much as possible so that she feels included. Praise something about her in front of others. Instruct less-than-tactful family members not to mention your girl's size or eating habits.

OUT AND ABOUT

A Plus Size Women may be unusually insecure about her weight and your relationship. Keep your attention on her throughout your date; don't ogle or flirt with other girls. Make regular physical contact to show your affection; hold her hand, put your arm around her or give her a quick peck on the cheek. Handle embarrassments, like a too-small chair or a rude comment from a stranger, with aplomb and humor. Show her that you're attracted to her no matter what and that she can feel completely comfortable with you.

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How to Build Self Confidence: 6 Essential and Timeless Tips

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”
Helen Keller

“Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Brian Tracy

“Confidence is courage at ease.”
Daniel Maher

I believe that one of the most common wishes is simply to feel more confident in various situations in life.

But how?

Confident friends may say: “Well, just be confident, man!”. However, to a person that doesn’t feel that confident this piece of advice may not be very helpful. At all.

There are however some time-tested and timeless advice. And in this article I’ll explore some of those tips. You can learn much more about becoming more sure of yourself and building your inner strength and assertiveness in my 12-week Self-Esteem Course.

Now, I hope you will find something useful in this article to help you improve and maintain your own levels of confidence.

1. Take action. Get it done.

“Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.”Thomas A. Bennett

“Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.”
Thomas Carlyle

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
Dale Carnegie

The most important step in building self confidence is simply to take action. Working on something and getting it done. Sitting at home and thinking about it will just make you feel worse. Simple. But not always easy to do. To make it a bit easier, here are a three of my favourite ways to make it easer to take action:

• Be present. This will help you snap out of over thinking and just go and do whatever you want to get done. This is probably the best tip I have found so far for taking more action since it puts you in a state where you feel little emotional resistance to the work you’ll do. And it puts you in state where the right actions often just seem to flow out of you in a focused but relaxed way and without much effort. One of the simplest ways to connect with the present moment is just to keep your focus on your breathing for a minute or two.
• Lighten up. One way to dissuade yourself from taking action is to take whatever you are about to do too seriously. That makes it feel too big, too difficult and too scary. If you on the other hand relax a bit and lighten up you often realize that those problems and negative feelings are just something you are creating in your own mind. With a lighter state of mind your tasks seems lighter and become easier to get started with. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this.
• Really, really want it. Then taking action isn’t something you have to force. Taking action becomes a very natural thing. It’s something you can’t wait to do.

2. Face your fear.

“The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear.”
William Jennings Bryan

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

Look, I could tell you to do affirmations or other exercises for months in front of your mirror. It may have a positive effect. Just like preparing yourself it may help you to take action with more confidence.

But to be frank, if you don’t listen to the quotes above and face your fears you won’t experience any better self confidence on a deeper and more fundamental level. Having experiences where you face your fear is what really builds self confidence. There is no way around it.

However, there are ways to face your fears that do not include that much shaking of the knees. There are ways to make it easier for yourself.

• Be curious. When you are stuck in fear you are closed up. You tend to create division in your world and mind. You create barriers between you and other things/people. When you shift to being curious your perceptions go SWOOSH! and the world just opens up. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear. How do you become more curious?One way is to remember how life has become more fun in the past thanks to your curiosity and to remember all the cool things it helped you to discover and experience.
• Realize that fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation. As humans we like to look for patterns. The problem is just that we often find negative and not so helpful patterns in our lives based on just one or two experiences. Or by misjudging situations. Or through some silly miscommunication. When you get too identified with your thoughts you’ll believe anything they tell you. A more helpful practise may be to not take your thoughts too seriously. A lot of the time they and your memory are pretty inaccurate.

Image by *Zara (license).

3. Understand in what order things happen.

One of my favourite snippets of movie-dialogue is this one from the 1999 film “Three Kings”.

In this scene Major Archie Gates (George Clooney) wants the small team to save a fellow soldier and steal Saddam’s gold just after the first Gulf War has ended.

The young soldier Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze) has his doubts about the plan:

Archie Gates: You’re scared, right?
Conrad Vig: Maybe.
Archie Gates: The way it works is, you do the thing you’re scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.
Conrad Vig: That’s a dumbass way to work. It should be the other way around.
Archie Gates: I know. That’s the way it works.

Great movie. Great little piece of dialogue. Even though it may not be what people want to hear.

The thing is, when you do things you don’t just build confidence in your ability to handle different situations. You also experience progressive desensitization. What that means is that situations – like for example public speaking or maybe just showing your latest blogpost to an audience out there – that made you feel all shaky become more and more normal in your life. It is not longer something you psyche yourself up to do. It just becomes normal. Like tying your shoes, hanging out with your friends or taking a shower.

It may seem scary now. But after having done whatever you fear a few to a dozen times or so you may think: “Is that it?”. You almost feel disappointed of how anticlimactic it has become. You may even get a bit angry with yourself and wonder why you avoided doing it for so long.

4. Prepare.

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self- confidence is preparation.”
Arthur Ashe

When you know nothing of what you are about to do it’s very easy to get lost in vague, foggy fear and start building big horror scenarios in your mind of what may happen if you give it a try.

Preparing yourself and educating yourself can be a big help here. By for example rehearsing and rewriting your speech over and over you can pretty much learn it by heart. By doing research you can find breathing techniques that can quickly make your calmer and present. Or simple visualization techniques that make you feel more confident and positive as you step out on the stage.

This is obviously more work than not doing anything about the speech at all before you start giving it. But it can make a huge difference in your confidence levels if you take the time to prepare yourself. And of course, the speech and the delivery of it will most likely be a lot better too.

So prepare and you will feel more comfortable and confident. Just don’t make the mistake of getting stuck in the preparation phase and using it as a way to avoid taking action and the possible pain that it may result in.

5. Realize that failure or being wrong will not kill you.

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”
Peter T. Mcintyre

“I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn’t fall down.”
Allen H. Neuharth

Again, you have to face your fear. Because it is only then that you discover the thing that billions of people throughout history have discovered before you. Failure won’t kill you. Nor will being wrong. The sky will not fall down. That’s just what people that haven’t faced their fear yet think.

The thing is to reframe failure from being something that makes your legs shake to something useful and important for the growth of your self confidence and your overall growth as a human being. Here are four ways that failure can help you out:

• You learn. Instead of seeing failure as something horrible you can start to view it more as a learning experience. When standing in the middle of a failure, you can ask yourself questions like: What’s awesome about this situation? What can I learn from this situation?
• You gain experiences you could not get any other way.  Ideally, you probably want to learn from other people’s mistakes and failures. That’s not always easy to do though. Sometimes you just have to fail on your own to learn a lesson and to gain an experience no one can relate to you in mere words.
• You become stronger. Every time you fail you become more accustomed to it. You realize more and more that it’s not the end of the world. And, again, you get desensitized. You can handle things that would have been very hard to handle a few years back. Failing can also a have an exhilarating component because even though you failed you at least took a chance. You didn’t just sit on you hands doing nothing. And that took quite a bit of courage and determination.
• Your chances of succeeding increases. Every time you fail you can learn and increase your inner strength. So every failure can make you more and more likely to succeed.

And remember, the world doesn’t revolve around you. You may like to think so. But it doesn’t. People really don’t care that much about what you do. They have their own life, problems and worries that the world revolves around them to focus on. They don’t think that much about you or are constantly monitoring what you do wrong or when you fail.

Maybe a disappointing thought. But a liberating and relieving one too because now you can let go of that worry that everyone is watching you.

6. Get to know who you are and what you want out of life.

“The world has the habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.”
Napoleon Hill

“Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you can’t do this or that. That’s nonsense. Make up your mind, you’ll never use crutches or a stick, then have a go at everything. Go to school, join in all the games you can. Go anywhere you want to. But never, never let them persuade you that things are too difficult or impossible.”
Douglas Bader

To build and find more confidence in yourself you have to get to know yourself better. Go exploring. Face some of your fears. Fail over and over and understand that it isn’t really that big of a deal. Grow stronger through such experiences and also become more internally relaxed. Figure out what really excites you by simply trying a whole bunch of stuff out.

When you know more about who you are and what you want out of life – not other people say you want – you will have more confidence in yourself and what you can do.

What other people say or think will have less of an impact than it used to because you know who you are better than they do. And since you have had all these experiences, since you have taken time to really get to know yourself and stretch yourself you will trust your own opinion and ability more than anything outside of you. You become stable and centred in yourself.

This will of course take time. It may be something that never really ends. So you might as well get started now.

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Tips For Showing BBW Pride In Your Photo

Tips For Showing BBW Pride In Your Photo

There are always complaints about why it is so hard to find the men who like BBW. In fact, Most men are attracted into plus size women. BBW aren’t like to show their body beauties for the big size. They only post photos include face / head on profile.  Do you know that these guys wish more plus-size girls would have the confidence to post more than just a high-contrast head shot. We get that you're reluctant, it just turns off the guys who enjoy curvier women. Quit subscribing to what the media says you should look like and show off who you really are!

Here are some tips about how to show BBW pride in your photo:

1. Post photos of full-body shots, or multiple photos of different angles that give an overall complete representation of yourself. This goes for all girls, especially BBWs. Guys want and need to see you, girls!

2. Perhaps a corollary to the above; don't just post dimly-lit shots that obscure what you might really look like. Photoshop, glamour shots, Myspace angles, they do nobody any good in the end and make you appear deceptive.

3. Post pictures that show some depth and variety in your personality. That means finding a few pics where you're not making a duckface. Guys like the body, but showing some emotions goes a long way towards attracting a partner.

4. Get rid of your friends! We hate it when all your pics are you AND ten other friends, where only half your face is visible. Especially if it's your main profile pic.
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Plus Sized Love is in the Air

Plus Sized Love is in the Air

The world of online dating makes it so people can find love even though their everyday lives may be busy and hectic. Online dating is for everyone even BBW and BHM singles. Plussizedatingsite.net is a place where BBW DATING is made easy. When users visit our site they can find BBW love and some of the BBW romance that is kindled here even turns into marriage down the line.

Big beautiful women  often think that they will never find their one true love because of their size. However, we have creating our BBW Dating site to show them that they should not give up hope. There are many singles that love big beautiful women and have no problem with BBW dating. 

Why Use BBW Dating Site for BBW Romance

Plus size dating site is dedicated specifically to BBW and BHM singles. When you register with it you are destined to find your match because it is full of other plus size singles like yourself who are looking for their one true love. The website is very user friendly and it is 100% secure. It understands that other sites are hard for plus size singles to meet up because they are not catered to people who are in search of people just like you.

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Blind Date Tips

Blind Date Tips

Blind dates can be nerve-wracking and I'm sure you've heard lots of horror stories. They don't have to be this way though. Here are 10 tips to you have a successful blind date!
Plan & Prepare.
First impressions are important as we generally form an impression of a person within just minutes of meeting them. Blind dates are no different. Your first impressions sets the stage for the entire date, so be sure to prepare in advance!
Preparing Yourself
When it comes to appearances, select clothing that is appropriate for your date, such as casual for a movie or a little more dressy for a nice dinner date. Do not wear clothes that are too revealing, strange, or over the top. Get a fresh haircut or trim so that you look neat and well put together. You should also trim your nails (manicures and/or pedicures are always nice), shine your shoes, and/or iron your clothes, if needed. While this may be obvious, make sure that you shower, shave, and smell good. While a bit of cologne or perfume can be sexy, do not overdo it. Remember, you only have once chance at a first impression, so make it a good one!
Plan Ahead, But Be Flexible
Plan your evening ahead, but stay flexible so that you can easily change your plans if needed. If you've planned a night at a party, but realize that your date is more quiet and reserved, why not try a quiet dinner date?
Who Pays
If your date indicates that he is paying, it's up to you whether you take him up on that offer. Because this is your first meeting, you may want to make it clear from the start that you intend to pay for half of everything, that way you avoid feeling as if you owe him anything.
Blind Date Safety.
Blind dates can be fun and exciting, but remember that this is your first meeting. If you were set up by mutual friends, you may know a bit about the person and your friends may have an idea of your date plans. If not, you'll want to take a few extra precautions. Make sure that a friend knows where you will be and at what times, as well as the name of the person. Carry a cell phone with you at all times as a precaution. Another option is to make the first date a "double" date, so that you can have a friend join you.
Where To Go (and what to do).
The number one rule is to pick a public place. Not only is there safety in numbers, but you're likely to feel more relaxed and have fun when you're in a public place.
For a blind date, you generally want to avoid the standard dinner date. If the date is not going well, you're stuck together for the entire meal. The same goes for movies and any other activity that generally lasts more than one hour. Keep the date short and simple because with shorter date plans, you can make a quick exit if you're not interested. If you are interested, you can stick around or arrange to meet up again in the future.
You may also want to figure cost into the date factor. It's better to keep the date in the low-to-mid price range so that neither person feels pressure. This is especially important if one person is taking care of all of the date expenses.
Whatever you decide, do something fun where you can have a good time and get to know each other.
A few good options:
Meet for coffee
A dessert date in the evening
Meet for lunch during the week
Miniature golf
Bowling
Whatever you do, keep your activities comfortable, casual, and not over the top. A blind date is not the time to try new and exotic cuisine or to bungee jump.
The First Meeting.
Arrive a little early and offer a polite greeting and handshake when he/she arrives. Smile and be friendly, even if you are nervous. Men, be a gentleman and open doors, hang up her coat, pull out her chair, etc. Women, be polite and thank him if he does these things for you.
Be Open Minded.
Remember that this is a blind date. If you set your expectations too high, you will surely be disappointed. Secretly, we may all want good looking, highly intellectual, slapstick funny dates with an abundance of cash. That's not reality though. Stay open minded and free of high expectations for your date. This will allow you to relax and have a good time rather than setting yourself up for disappointment should the date not go well.
Be Yourself.
It's easier said than done, but relax, relax, relax. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on blind dates is trying to be someone that they aren't. Just be yourself. Do not feel pressure to wear heels if you normally wear sandals. If you feel more comfortable in jeans and a sweater, don't take her to a 5-start restaurant. During the date, answer questions honestly and talk candidly about yourself without exaggerating. Remember, your date wants to know who you are; not who you your date wants you to be.
Making Conversation.
Conversation is extremely important to the success of a blind date. Getting it started and keeping it going is essential. Think of a few general, light topics to bring up in the beginning. Ask about her family or his friends. Keep the conversation light, but really try to get to know them.
Do:
Ask about him.
Ask about her family and friends.
Ask about what he or she does for a living.
Compliment your date.
Ask about his or her interests and hobbies.
Discuss music, film, food, and art.
Talk about yourself (but not the entire time!)
Show an interest in what he or she is saying.
Stimulate the conversation with open-ended questions.
Do Not:
Discuss past relationships
Talk in depth about topics that don't interest the other person.
Speak badly about others.
Say anything stupid, mean, or inconsiderate.
Monopolize the conversation.
Cross-examine your date.
Ask close-ended questions that require only a 'yes' or 'no' answer.
Body Language
Also remember that first impressions are not just based on appearance, but on the way you communicate with your words, tone of voice, and body language as well. In fact, body language is actually the most important when it comes to communication. Don't focus on your body language so much that it feels forced because it will come across that way to your date as well. Relax and react appropriately. Keep your eyes on your date, not on yourself or others around you. If you're having a good time, give your date signs that you're enjoying their company.
Things to Watch.
While you should never go into a blind date with bad expectations, you should keep an eye out for a few 'warning signs'.
He or she is wearing a wedding ring.
He or she talks about past relationships throughout the date.
He speaks badly about his mother or ex-girlfriends.
He doesn't offer to pay (unless it was agreed to go dutch).
He or she is rude to you directly.
He or she treats the waiters rudely or doesn't tip.
He or she drinks a lot.
He or she does not pay attention to you (i.e. they answer cell phone calls during the date, etc).
Be aware of everything he or she says and how they say it.
He or she displays any other disturbing, addictive, mentally ill, or criminal behavior.
While there may be little things that you don't like about the person, such as their clothing or hygiene, it's the bigger things that you need to keep an eye out for. You do not want to end up with a self-absorbed, high-maintenance, or worse, an abusive person.
Exit Strategy.
In the even that a blind date isn't going well, be sure to have an exit plan in place. Have a friend on standby and a cell phone on hand at all times. If needed, excuse yourself to the bathroom and call your friend, having him/her call you back in 5 minutes informing you of an emergency for which you are needed. You may want to have your backup plan set ahead of time by arranging your friend to call 30 minutes into the date and use that as your out if needed. Another option would be tell inform him that you have plans an hour after the two of you are set to meet. If the date is going well, you can call and "cancel" these plans. If it's not going well, you have your out.
Ending The Date.
Saying goodbye at the end of a blind date has the potential to be very awkward. When the date is over, do what feels right. No matter what, you should remember to thank the other person. If your date went well, be sure to let them know that and mention that you'd really like to see them again. If it didn't go well, then you should not suggest or agree to meeting again, nor should you give your phone number or say you'll call them. This can string him/her along and create creates false hopes and impressions. It's generally better to be honest and up front, but do it politely. If you don't want to see them again, say something like "I don't think we have a lot in common." Always be kind and make every effort to spare his or her feelings.

Blind dates do not differ much from other first dates. With these ten tips, your blind date will hopefully turn into a second date!


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10 Ways to Express Your Love Online

10 Ways to Express Your Love Online
Saying 'I love you' out loud can send shivers down your sweetie's spine. For those that are in long distance relationships, the telephone doesn't quite give the same effect. To keep the long distance romance alive, the Internet often comes into play. Even if you're not in a long distance relationship, you can use the Internet to add a new dimension of romance and passion to your relationship. If you're looking for a new way to express your love, these online declarations of love more than meet the challenge.
Build a Website
It may sound like a daunting task, but building a website is easier than ever. For those tech savvy romantics, get a domain name such as JaneAndJohn.com, then create a website dedicated to your partner and your relationship. For those that aren't quite as tech savvy, look for a service that provides a free website creator tool. These tools often offer templates where no HTML code knowledge is needed. Generally, you can register the domain name and use the website creator for one low cost. Add some romantic clipart, photos of the two of you, love quotes, anecdotes, and memories of your relationship. Websites are particularly great for wedding proposals or even to chronicle your engagement and plan your wedding!
Create a Love Blog
If you want a quick and easy way to create on online dedication of love, blogging is the way to go. They're free, easy to setup, and easy to maintain. Once you create the initial design, which in itself is quite easy, you need only log in a few times a week and scribe love notes to your sweetie. If you sign him or her up with an RSS reader or even MyYahoo!, they'll automatically receive updates alerting them of your recent love notes. To get started, try Vox.com, WordPress, Blogger, or TypePad.
Create a LoveSpace with MySpace
If you don't already have a MySpace page for yourself, you've more than likely at least heard of the popular social network. MySpace works by giving users the ability to create their own "space" on the web and connect with other people on the network. Our suggestion for MySpace is to create your own LoveSpace on the network. Sign up for a free account and within minutes you'll have a page dedicated to your sweetie. Keep it focused on romance with weekly love notes, romantic poems, and photos. You can even add a romantic love song that plays when s/he visits the page! Make sure to set it up as private so that you feel free to open your heart and write whatever the mood strikes without worrying about prying eyes.
Post Love Messages on Message Boards
If you and/or your partner frequent message boards or forums, take the opportunity to use it as a romantic tool. If allowed (be sure to check all posting rules first), start a thread declaring your love for your partner. Many community oriented forums allow you to create your own online journal within one long thread. Take advantage of this opportunity to post public declarations of love to your sweetie. Even if you don't frequent a forum, find one on a romance related website, such as our own Romance Forum that allows a journal or thread to be posted in dedication to your partner.
Send an eCard
It may seem impersonal or even like a copout (if sent on an important holiday such as Valentine's Day or her birthday), but if you send ecards "just because", they're a great way to add a little romance to your sweetie's day. Browse the various free ecard sites, such as Hallmark.com, for funny, romantic, and sexy ecards. Most importantly though, put a bit of thought into your personalized message. Rather than ending it with 'Love, Your Name', think deep and write from the heart. Surprising your sweetie with a romantic ecard with romantic messages in their inbox will bring a smile to their face.
Send an eLoveCoupon.
eLoveCoupons allow you to create completely customized love coupons to give to your honey. You choose the background and the text for the coupon. Give her a coupon for a body massage by candlelight or give him a coupon for a quickie of his choice. Once you've created your love coupon, print it out or email it to your partner! Try the eLoveCoupon creator now.
Serenade Her on Ksolo
You're probably thinking ksolo what? We happened across Ksolo.com recently and were immediately inundated with all of the romantic possibilities. Ksolo works like a karaoke bar without the booze or live music. Basically, it's karaoke online. To get started, fill out the quick -- and free -- signup form. Once logged in, you can choose from literally thousands of songs to serenade your sweetie with. The only rule here is to pick a romantic song -- or perhaps even "your" song? Try it out at Ksolo.com.
Go Live with YouTube
Put that webcam to use and create a short video declaring your love for your partner. Once you're finished, upload it to YouTube for free and then send a link via email for him/her to check it out!
Post A Classified
Craig's List is a network of city that allow you to post free classified ads for almost anything. Take advantage of these classified listings and post an ad declaring your love for your partner. Put a simple "I Love You", fill an ad with loving thoughts, or use it to ask your partner out on a date (even if you've been married for years!).
Get Back to the Basics with Sexy Mail

Get back to the basics by sending romantic emails or Instant Messages to your partner. Send sexy love quotes via email or emoticons representing what you'd like to be doing to them at that moment (such as for ). Steer clear of other subjects in your messages -- keep them strictly romantic! Most importantly, to keep IM's and email's fresh and romantic, send them when your partner least expects them. For a different take on an old favorite, send sexy emails with HoochyMail.com. This service works like an adult version of Mad Libs, allowing you to send a sexy story via email that stars you and your partner.

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10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love

10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love
You long for true love.  You have dreamed about finding it forever.
But every time you think you have grasped it, it slips through your fingers. Or it breaks them, along with your heart.
You ask, as we all do, “What am I doing wrong?”
Let me share 10 vital, love-changing secrets that will lead you to over the moon, incredible, never ending romance.  I know because I have found it…and it’s my second time around.
Warning:  If you treat someone like this, they will never leave you, so be sure this person is the one you want.
One more very crucial thing: the key here is to merge the words “true love” with “courage“.
TRUE love is not for the fainthearted. It is to be approached as if you were embarking on the greatest adventure of your life.
1.  True love thrives on the courage to be yourself
Imagine being at peace with who you are.
Imagine enjoying what is strong about you and focusing on growing within that instead of working hard to hide your weaknesses, afraid that someone might leave you because of them.
I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror because I had this loathing inside for who I was. So much energy was spent on trying to be who others wanted me to be.
Exhausted from all the pain and fear resulting from that perspective, I decided to simply become myself.
I began to live in gratitude turned upward for how I had been uniquely made.  Consequently, I found confidence growing from the very center of my being.
It’s from that center that I now love.
2.  True love thrives on the courage to respect yourself by finding your voice
When you like yourself, you become your own champion.
Imagine standing up to protect your heart being natural to you.
Imagine discomfort triggering you to step up and say what it is you are feeling or fearing.
When you become yourself, this is how you will learn to be.
You will recognize someone who has the potential to love you as you need to be loved.  On the flipside, you will also recognize when someone is not able to be that one.
From that same confident, strong center I found, you, too, will become the lover rather than the one demanding to be loved.
3.  True Love thrives on the courage to make it all about the one you love
The most successful relationships I know are those where both partners as strong enough individually to put themselves aside and see life through the eyes of that special someone in their life.
Imagine being able to hold wise boundaries and have your fears about being “walked on” left far behind you.
Imagine choosing to make it your aim to create an atmosphere of safety where both of you can rest, grow and thrive.
Great fulfillment comes in seeing your sweetheart relax and respond to you with a contented smile.
True love is about your partner being able to grow and equip themselves to handle whatever life brings because they know that someone (i.e. you) has their back.
4.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for certainty.
Imagine a place where you can be completely yourself.
Imagine never being judged or criticized.
Imagine having the freedom to choose what is best for you in the moment and that being received with acceptance.
Imagine feeling protected and cared for and having there for you whatever it is you need to feel secure.
This is describing the need for “safety”. Certainty. Your partner desires that deeply.
Do you know then well enough to build a safe space designed around their particular preferences?
5.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for adventure
Imagine “adventure”. Thrills, fun, edge of your seat suspense, surprise just when you need it.
Imagine the unexpected challenges arising in your life and being able to think through and plan a strategy alongside someone you trust and respect.
Look through the eyes of the one you love for a moment. Do you know what makes them laugh or what kind of surprises they love?
Do you understand what they anticipate or look forward to doing?
What would draw out their deep gratitude?
How do they wish you would respond when life gets tough and you are both caught off-guard?
6.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for significance
Imagine having all of the cherishing your heart could hold.
Imagine the tranquility of never having to worry about losing the love surrounding you.
Imagine being completely accepted.
Imagine having someone look at you in a way that tells you they believe in you.
Imagine making a mistake and being told that it’s ok, that you are learning and that you should be patient with yourself.
Your heart yearns for this. So does the heart of the one you love, though they may never voice that.
Do you know what makes them afraid that they are not enough?
Do you understand how lonely they feel inside and what might make their heart open like a flower to the sun?
7.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need to be loved unconditionally
Imagine someone totally committed to doing everything within their power to love you in the way you define love.
Imagine someone seeing you are cold and bringing you a sweater even before you ask.
Imagine someone sensing how tired you are and sending you for a rest while they take care of what you normally take care of.
Imagine the words, “I forgive you. I understand. Nothing will ever change my love for you. It grows stronger every day.”
Imagine someone putting aside their own excitement of the day in order to bring you comfort when they see you may be struggling.
True love is stepping up and loving someone else in such a way that it becomes more and more “unconditional”.
Their comfort, their care, their needs put more and more ahead of your own.
8.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for connection
How much we all long to be connected.  Thus we have communities, sports teams, clubs and groups of every kind. It’s healthy to be a part of what interests us outside of our relationships but how often do we begin to prefer to spend time there because the bond between us and our loved one is broken.
Imagine having that sense of “belonging” fulfilled in every way possible within your relationship so that when friends or extended family disappoint you, you weather it together.
Imagine being able to talk about anything and everything revealing all of your thoughts and dreams and ideas freely.
Imagine being heard – really heard – and your opinions being appreciated and acknowledged.
Imagine being held just when you need it the most in the way you need it.
That man or woman in your life aches for this as much as you do. Open your heart and search for as many ways to connect with them as possible. Learn to listen and to enjoy some of the activities that they enjoy.
9.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for growth
If you are not growing, you die – even while you are still living. We experience this consistently in nature all around us. Trees and grass and children exemplify this truth.
Imagine someone knowing your dreams, your aspirations, your future plans and goals.
Imagine that the greatest pleasure in someone’s life is celebrating your milestones right alongside of you because they are proud of you and were there for you every step of the long climb it took to get there.
Put yourself in the shoes of the one you have committed your life to.
What are her dreams?  What are his?
Have you had a long look recently into their eyes in order to reach the bottom of their heart?  Or do you take for granted that you know all there is to know?
What do they want, really want, from life?
What is within your power to help them get there?
10.  True love is the courage to meet your lover’s need to make a difference
When life is cruel to you and breaks your heart, you tend to withdraw from the world in order to protect yourself from more pain.  Often it is said that out of your greatest pain comes your greatest mission.
You are not random. You were made with care and innate skills to let life prepare you to help someone else.
Imagine what it would feel like to give in a way that made a difference to someone.
Imagine an overwhelming sense of fulfillment because you have given yourself permission to do what you love and help someone else in the process. I am using my love to write to help others learn how to love right now.
Imagine having a partner who knows you so well that he or she opens your eyes to a new understanding of the gifts you’ve been given.

Part of your purpose in life is to assist your partner in finding his or her own way of unconditionally giving love to the world around them.  You are the one who can observe their strengths in ways that no one else can.

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